Becoming Sane

I can tell you that each month we were trying to conceive after the miscarriage I would think that as had succeeded.  I let myself believe every twinge was it.  I was going to be pregnant.  Of course it never was and it made me crazy.    It made me block pregnant people on Facebook, it made me unable to even cut through the baby section at Target, and it made me sob when people said they were pregnant. 

 

Making a plan and deciding to pursue fostering, foster to adopt, adoption has made me sane again.   Last week I went to Target and I looked at ever single aisle of baby stuff.    Because we are getting so close.  I can see that baby in the crook of my arms.  I can smell that sweet baby after a bath. 

 

It is now a matter of WHEN instead of IF.

 

That has made me sane again.